Modern Masculinity

In the Internet Era, What Does Masculinity Really Mean?

Hey y’all - welcome to the start of a new week, and a shout-out to all of our new subscribers this week. If you’re enjoying what you see, it means a ton when you share it with others who might find it valuable.

With that shameless plug out of the way, on to the good stuff.

Masculinity today feels like it’s caught in a storm of confusion, but has it really changed at its core? With all the buzzwords and debates flying around, the idea of what it means to be a man can seem blurry and complicated. This confusion often comes from how we talk about masculinity, not what it actually is. Still, the effects are real. Many men, especially younger ones, are struggling to find their place amid shifting expectations.

In the last decade, masculinity has become a key topic in the culture wars. These debates are messy, emotional, and never-ending—and that’s intentional. People build careers and gain attention by stirring up controversy, creating division rather than solutions. They sell conflicting ideas about how to “be a man,” but most of these ideas are impractical and unhelpful.

The self-proclaimed ‘alpha’ quickly becomes a punchline the moment he steps into the real world, while the overzealous ‘conscious man,’ endlessly unpacking his allyship, alienates more than he connects. These extremes dominate the conversation, but neither offers men a practical or meaningful path forward.

The Cost of Confusion

It would be fine if these were isolated instances, kept to late-night Reddit threads and bachelor parties, but they’re not. The confusion around masculinity has spilled into everyday life, with real consequences. It’s not just about redefining gender roles—it strikes at the heart of what it means to be a good father, a dependable partner, or a strong leader. The constant noise makes it easy for men to lose track of the basics that keep them grounded.

Young men are feeling the impact. They’re falling behind in school, struggling to find stable jobs, and feeling lonelier in a world that feels like it has left them behind. Friendships, relationships, and a sense of purpose are slipping away, leaving many adrift and seeking guidance from people who do not have their best interests at heart. These problems aren’t just statistics—they’re signs of a deeper crisis in how society views and supports men.

The Unchanging Core

What’s frustrating about this crisis is how unnecessary it is. The core of masculinity hasn’t actually changed. Sure, culture evolves, and men need to adapt to new expectations, but the foundation of being a man remains the same. At its heart, masculinity is about being dependable, supporting the people around you, and showing strength when it’s needed.

True masculinity is a balance. It’s about being strong but also knowing when to be vulnerable. It’s about leading when needed and listening when it matters. Masculinity thrives in real-world situations, where being “tough” doesn’t mean ignoring emotions, and being “sensitive” doesn’t mean rolling over.

What the online crowd misses is that masculinity isn’t about talk—it’s about setting an example and living it. We need to step up and be role models, not just for our families but for our communities. This isn’t about grand gestures or dramatic speeches. It’s about showing up and being reliable. It’s about being consistent at work, volunteering at a food bank, or speaking out at a city hall meeting.

It's also about mentorship. Boys don’t automatically know how to be responsible, resilient, or emotionally aware, and they won’t learn it online. They learn it from us—through how we act and the lessons we share. Whether we’re fathers, uncles, teachers, or community leaders, we have a responsibility to pass these values on. Integrity, hard work, and empathy aren’t just words—they’re actions we need to model every day.

And this mentorship can’t stop with the boys in our own families. Many young men don’t have strong male figures in their lives, and they’re the ones who need us the most. Community programs, sports teams, and youth groups are excellent places for us to step in. By spending time with these boys, we can help them see masculinity as a balance of strength and kindness. We can show them what it means to contribute to their communities and care for others in a meaningful way.

Back to Basics

These ideas aren’t revolutionary. In fact, they might sound boring or overly familiar. And that’s exactly the point. Just as the core of masculinity hasn’t changed, neither have the most effective ways of promoting it. Dependability, responsibility, and leadership remain timeless qualities that define what it means to be a good man.

It’s easy to get distracted by flashy movements or trendy redefinitions of masculinity. But the truth is, building strong, effective men has never been about chasing what’s new. It’s about returning to the basics and living out the values that have stood the test of time. These actions may not grab headlines, but they make a difference in the lives of the people around us.

If we want to bring back a healthy sense of masculinity, we don’t need grand theories or viral hashtags. What we need is to live with purpose, lead by example, and invest in the next generation. The path forward isn’t complicated—but it does require us to show up, do the work, and embody the principles that never go out of style.